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31 October 2008 @ 11:06 am
Fic: How Feast of Fools turned Dean Winchester gay  
Title: How Feast of Fools turned Dean Winchester gay
Author: wiccaqueen
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: R
Category: crack!fic
A/N: Written for The Feast of Fools, the best podcast out there!
Disclaimer: Sam and Dean belong to their respected owners at CW! I'm just borrowing them....
Words: 842

How “Feast of Fools” turned Dean Winchester gay

It all started with Dean allowing Sam to install his Ipod jack in the car again. They’d driven cross-country for over nine hours and just couldn’t listen to Metallica or Motorhead anymore.
And all the radio stations sucked, so it was back to Sam’s Ipod.

As Sam was going through his playlist, Dean couldn't help but give his clueless brother some instructions.
“Okay Sammy no whiny music! Which means no Smiths, no Ronan Keating and no Jason Manns," said Dean.

Sam just rolled his eyes and decided that if Dean didn’t want to listen to his music, then he’d simply have to listen to something else!

“Welcome to the Feast of Fools, your gay fun show with far out news, social trends and celebrity interviews everyday!”

“What the fuck is that?” Dean turned to Sam frowning.

“It’s a podcast Dean! A fun and informative show I like to listen to.”

“You realize it’s kinda gay, right?”

Sam’s infamous 'bitch face' was just starting to make an appearance, when a brilliant idea struck him.

“I think it’s great. And Marc’s voice is really sexy," Sam said.
He turned to Dean and grinned like a five year old.

“What? Did you just say... sexy? I don’t know man. Sometimes you really are a freak.”

“Just wait and see," Sam said as he slowly began fidgeting in his seat. Suddenly he undid the seatbelt and moved closer to Dean, still grinning.

Dean was really starting to feel uncomfortable and not just because he was forced to listen to some guy called Fausto talk about a famous porn star he seemed to adore. And what kinda name was Fausto anyway?

Sam moved impossibly close and finally leaned his head down, his hot breath just over Dean’s crotch.
“Uhm….Sammy?” Dean’s voice was rough and raw.

He tried to think of something to say, but the words got stuck in his dry throat. Instead he clenched his hands around the steering wheel and tried to concentrate on the road. This was just one of Sam’s pranks, obviously.

Even as Sam settled his head neatly in Dean’s lap, the older Winchester didn’t react. But then Sam began pulling down his zipper and all of a sudden Dean went from slightly nervous to freaked out.

“Sammy what the fuck?” He tried to push him away with one hand, but Sam's head in his lap was like deadweight.

“I’m just trying to prove to you what kinda freak I really am!”

Then one of Sam’s hands made it into his jeans and oh my God! Dean tried to think “wrong” and “no” but his body simply reacted on instinct. When the hand was replaced with Sam's hot, wet tongue, Dean arched off the seat.

The Impala almost swerved off the road before Dean managed to get control over it again. Blowjobs while driving weren’t really a great idea.

All the while the Feast of Fools podcast was still coming out of the speakers, but a new voice had been added. It sounded like an interview, not that Dean really cared or could even make sense of the words with Sam’s tight mouth now running up and down his exposed cock.

But he had to tease Sam about it one last time, or try to at least.

“Dude, how gay can you get?”

“You got anything against it?”

“No…not as long as you keep doing that!”

And then the talking stopped and a song began to play. Not really Dean’s kinda music, but when the lyrics started, a low groan escaped Dean’s throat.

“Fuck a man, I want a boy that can fuck all night, or maybe hit me with a quickie in the club by the strobe light. Kinda man that is masculine and aggressive and if daddy wants some head believe he’s gonna get it!”

Seconds later he was shooting into that sweet tightness that was Sam's mouth. When Sam finally released him with a wet pop, his face came up still grinning.


“Well didn’t you enjoy that?”

“So?” Dean tried his best to look indifferent even though his cheeks were flushed deep red.
“So that didn’t stir up any feelings in you?”

“If you mean that it turned me gay, then no!”

Sam slipped out of Dean’s lap and slowly began to settle himself back into his seat.

Just as Sam let out a small sigh and resigned himself to the fact that his brother was not going to reciprocate, Dean slid his hand over the divide between the two seats and closed it over Sam's his crotch.
Sam turned abruptly to look at Dean, one of his eyebrows raised.

“Well maybe a little.” Dean admitted in a low voice.

Sam’s face broke out in a grin again and then he finally reached to turn off his Ipod. Mission accomplished.

Listen to an audioversion read by Fausto Fernos and Marc Felion on the Feast of Fools Podcast HERE

Kros_21kros_21 on October 31st, 2008 07:56 pm (UTC)
woah!!! hot, funny and adorable!!!
great job darling!!
and Sammy is such a genius!!! :D


wiccaqueen: Blue Jeanswiccaqueen on October 31st, 2008 08:51 pm (UTC)
Wow thanks hon! *hugs*

Glad you liked it that much, though I fear some jokes remain missunderstood if you don't know the podcast...
I actually wrote it because the mods of the podcast asked me to and said they might read it on air! *g*
Momomomotastic on November 3rd, 2008 11:07 am (UTC)
I seriously should start listening to this podcast and make the males listen to it as well ... Maybe everyone will turn gay then!
wiccaqueen: Gay Lovewiccaqueen on November 4th, 2008 04:19 pm (UTC)
Yes you should! It's really great and loads of fun!
And that would be an awesome effect *g*
bonbonschnecke: unbelieveablebonbonschnecke on November 4th, 2008 07:29 pm (UTC)
YAY for that mission!!!! Great little fic! HOT! I like blowjobs during a drive!
wiccaqueenwiccaqueen on November 4th, 2008 11:03 pm (UTC)
Thanks for reading! Yeah Blowjobs while driving are kinda a kink of mine! *g*
pretty pink porn master jedivamptastica on November 5th, 2008 06:22 pm (UTC)
*giggles* i loved it and sadly i work with a guy NAMED FAUSTO!!!! he's an old man though so the sexy voice? just made me laugh. Loved it anyways sweetie.

*grins and hugs*
wiccaqueenwiccaqueen on November 5th, 2008 07:27 pm (UTC)
Really? OMG! *giggles*

Glad you like it, hon! *hugs*
MissTeaguedemonlord_dean on November 23rd, 2008 03:01 pm (UTC)
Ich hab's mir gerade angehört und ich hab das Grinsen auf meinem Gesicht einfach nicht weggekriegt.
Die Story ist einfch nur klasse^^
wiccaqueenwiccaqueen on November 23rd, 2008 04:56 pm (UTC)
Hi dank dir für dein liebes FB! :-)
Ich find die Aufnahme auch einfach nur klasse! Liebe die Jungs dafür!