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29 June 2008 @ 02:45 pm
Fiction: Author Verse 2/2  
Title: Letter for Sam
Author: wiccaqueen  
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: R
Warning: Smoop
Disclaimer: Sam and Dean belong to their respected owners at CW! I'm just borrowing them....

Author Verse 2/2: Letter for Sam

"You keep my world together"
Those words kept touching Dean's heart over and over again.

He had read through Sam's note worried sick that this might mean goodbye. But when he had opened the other piece of paper and had began to read the poem it contained, all his worries were blown away.

He couldn't believe the words Sammy had written. They were so beautiful. Nobody had ever done anything like this for him.

The feelings it expressed were more than Dean had ever hoped for. He was loved, truly loved by his brother. He meant the world to him.

With tears in his eyes, Dean read through the poem again and again. He hadn't even known that Sam was into this kinda thing. Obviously he didn't want to tell him that he wrote poetry in fear of getting teased. Well it was kinda girlish, but the result was beautiful.

And Dean really couldn't boast about being his tough self right now either, his feelings being so touched.

"And the end of the day there's only you"

How Sam expressed all that he felt himself! It was unbelievable!

They really didn't have anybody in their lives but each other, especially now since Dad had passed away. Dean wanted to be everything for Sam after that. He had tried to look after him and give him everything he needed. But how well he had succeeded, he had not known until now.

Dean never needed anyone in his life, anyone but Sam. Perhaps he even needed him more, depended on him more emotionally then he had ever let shine through. In truth, Dean was scared of being alone, of loosing the one person that had ever been close to him.

Sam was the center of Dean's world and he wanted him to know that.

He thought about going back and telling Sammy how he felt, but he feared everything he wanted to say might come out wrong. He often said things he didn't mean but couldn't help doing so. But this was Sam, and he deserved the best possible answer.

After a couple of minutes Dean returned to the shore of the lake with a pen and some sheets of paper. Looking at the blue sparkling surface of the lake, he thought about what to write. Certainly no poem, he wouldn't go there. Although it was sweet of Sammy to do so, it wasn't Dean's style. If he was going to get all emotional he would try to do it as manly as he could. A letter perhaps? It seemed the only thing that made sense. I had been a while, however, since he had written any letters. In fact he couldn't recall ever writing a letter outside of school.

He had never had such strong feelings for anyone and had certainly never felt the need to express himself in such a way. Starting with 'Dear Sammy', Dean already knew that this would be one of the hardest things he had ever done. Clenching his fist around the pen, he tried to focus his thoughts and emotions.

For Sam, it was all for Sam.


'Dear Sammy, you know I'm not a man of many words, especially not the written kind. I guess you already know how hard this is for me, but bear with me. I may not have a talent for writing, like you seem to have yourself, but I do have a lot to say to you, things that have to be said, that are long overdue.
First of all, however, I want to let you know that I read your note and the poem. I was more than a bit surprised, as you can imagine, but also deeply touched. No on has ever said things like that about me, ever. Women may date me, but they're never truly in love with me. Not that I blame them; I do treat people like dirt sometimes.
You are the one person who has seen the best and the worst of me and are still around. Although our blood binds us to one another, I have always hoped that there was more between us. Your poem gives me more hope now then ever.
I really don't know how to say this…my thoughts and feelings are already running wild. There is so much I need to tell you, or show you perhaps. Truths be told, I hold you in my heart and you can be sure you will remain there forever. Dean'


After finishing the short letter, Dean read through it a couple of times, somewhat displeased with the result. He really wasn't good at writing, but the words were full of truth, even if they weren't as beautiful as Sam's. He hoped that Sam would understand.

Folding the letter, he put it into the pocket of his jacket next to Sam's poem and slowly began walking back to the motel. A bit nervous, he stood in front of their room. He wasn't so sure about giving the letter to Sam any more. It wasn't very good and perhaps Sam didn't want an answer. But at the same time he knew he owed it to him.

Finally entering the room, he found Sam sitting on the bed. Within an instant he got up and went towards him. In his eyes Dean could see so much uncertainty and anxiety. He almost seemed to hold his breath. Dean was amazed how fragile Sam appeared, as if everything was dependent on what he would do now. He wanted to say something, but found no words. All he could do was smile.

And suddenly a weight seemed to fall of Sam and his face also lit up in a smile. Then Dean slowly pulled his letter from his jacket and waved it at him.

Approaching each other at the same time, they stopped only inches apart, still smiling. Dean so wanted to touch Sam's face right now, which almost seemed to glow. To hell with the letter! He wanted to show Sammy what he felt, take his chance and show the full force of his passion. He had longed to set it free for so long! Any doubts about Sam's feelings vanished, as he lost himself in those beautiful, deep green eyes.

Slowly he put the letter back in his jacket. It was not important. All that he knew is that he wanted to show Sam how he felt. Reaching out, he very slightly began to touch his face. Sam closed his eyes as he increased the firmness of his touch. A moment later, he was pulling Sam's face closer to his so that he could feel his warm breath upon his own face. His smell was so sweet! He could feel the heat radiating from his body.

"Oh Dean!" Sam moaned, their lips almost touching.

Dean's hand caressed Sam's cheek a bit longer before it gentle dived into his gorgeous, chaotic hair. Hearing him groan once more and tilting his head back in pleasure, Dean couldn't hold back any longer. His other free hand grasped Sam's head as well and pulled his lips upon his own. For a short moment they just lingered there, feeling the warm breath of each other.

Dean wanted to close his eyes, but seeing Sam like this, so willingly, was just too beautiful. He didn't want to miss a second of this. Finally their lips began moving against each other in a sweet rhythm. Sam's tongue came out and very slowly licked it's way over Dean's mouth. A shudder went down Dean's spine that almost made him scream. When his own tongue met Sam's, the purest passion and love possible was unleashed. Their mouths met again, crushing upon each other. Their tongues desperately wanted to merge into one. It was a battle they were doomed to loose. Their need was simply too great.

Dean's heart was racing against Sam's own heartbeat which he felt, their chests pressing against each other. For the first time in his life Dean truly felt close to Sam; a closeness he had somehow always longed for without really knowing. This made life worthwhile living! Holding on to this moment, they could cope with whatever would came after.

Breaking the intimacy after what appeared to be a lifetime, they both found themselves still speechless.
When Sam was able to move again, he simply grasped his brother's hand and led him to the bed. Dean followed willingly, still dealing with the aftermath of their kiss. He looked deep into Sam's eyes and could see nothing in them but love. Pure and true.

"God Sammy! Had I known years ago!"

"I know. I just couldn't tell you. I don't really know why. I guess now was the right time."

Both couldn't stop smiling.

"So I guess you liked my poem?"

"Are you kidding? It was the most beautiful thing I've ever read. And to know that it was all because of me, was amazing. I didn't know what to do, so I thought about writing you a letter in response, but it didn't really work out."

"A letter?" Sam asked confused.

"I can just imagine that! So what happened? You didn't find the right words?"


"Oh well. I guess it would have been too funny to read a love letter from you."

"Hey, who said anything about a love letter? Well I guess it's good then that I didn't give it to you, or else you would be mocking me now."

Sam's facial expression changed from a slight laughter to amazement.

"Oh God, you did really write a love letter, didn't you?"

And then it struck him like lightening.

"The piece of paper you waved at me before, that wasn't my poem, was it? That was your letter?"

Dean nodded.

"Well then give it to me. I want to read it."

"Nooo way."

Dean turned to the side, taking up a protective posture.

"I'm not going to give it to you so you can make fun of me."

Sam sighed.

"Oh Dean, come on! I won't make fun of you, I promise. Besides, you did intend to give it to me, didn't you? So I have a right to read it."

"Forget it!"

"What? No I won't!"

All of a sudden Sam tried to reach over into Dean's jacket. If Dean wasn't going to give him his letter, he was going to take it by force. Dean struggled to try and keep Sam's hands away. Quickly they got into a cat-fight, their hands starting to wrestle. Then Sam managed somehow to get Dean's hands behind his back and hold them there long enough for him to yank the letter from the jacket pocket.

"Ha, got it!" Sam cried out in satisfaction.

After that he jumped of the bed, waiting for Dean to pursue him. His brother, however, had no such intentions.

"Oh well, go ahead and read it. Guess I can't stop you anyway. But no laughing, please!"

"I promise."

Resting in a chair by the door, Sam unfolded the letter and began to read it.


A few minutes later he closed it again and gazed at Dean with tears in his eyes. There was no laughter and no mocking. Deeply touched, Sam looked Dean deep into the eyes and slowly opened his mouth.
The words escaping were hardly more than a whisper, but still cut through the air like a sharp sword:

"I love you Dean"

Within seconds Dean rose from the bed and was at Sam's side grasping his hands once more and kneeling before him.

"I love you, Samuel Winchester. Always have and always will."

Sinking into each other's arms, they both knew that all their writing efforts had been worth it.

The End.

First Part

Current Location: Nürnberg
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful