Just let us be...

Fanfiction Art

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 21:42:14 GMT

So I started doing this some while back, mostly because I'm kinda crazy and like to actually print my most beloved fanfics (if they are of a certain length) and then bind them to make a book out of them! ;-)

But when you have a book you have to have a cover, so I designed my own to each fiction. They're not all that great, simply because I'm still getting the hang of photoshop, but I thought I'd share them with you anyway.

Let me know what yout think ;-)

Fanart for the Fic 'Have you seen him who soul loves' by veronamay

Fanart for the Fic 'Into his Hand' by drvsilla

Fanart for the Fic 'The Devil really does wear Prada' by balefully
(with original art by joosetta)

Wincest Comic

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 14:53:51 GMT

Okay so I heard that there was a wincest comic floating around the net somewhere...and then yesterday I found Confessions.
I don't know if this was the one I was told about, but anyway it's AWESOME!!!
It's done in a manga style (which I love) and also has a bit of the japanese humor I so love. Oh and did I mention that it's actually wee!cest *squee* Things just can't get better.
If you enjoy it please credit noah_shiro

Supernatural Podcast - Wincest/ Jsquared Episode

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 10:17:38 GMT

Ja endlich habe ich es geschafft! Die neuste Folge von Winchester Journal ist online....für mich eine ganz besondere Episode, denn das Thema ist Wincest und Jsquared!
Über Feedback würde ich mich wie immer freuen :-)

Fiction: Author Verse 2/2

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 12:45:14 GMT

Title: Letter for Sam
Author: wiccaqueen
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: R
Category: Wincest

"You keep my world together"
Those words kept touching Dean's heart over and over again.

He had read through Sam's note worried sick that this might mean goodbye. But when he had opened the other piece of paper and had began to read the poem it contained, all his worries were blown away.

He couldn't believe the words Sammy had written. They were so beautiful. Nobody had ever done anything like this for him.

The feelings it expressed were more than Dean had ever hoped for. He was loved, truly loved by his brother. He meant the world to him.

With tears in his eyes, Dean read through the poem again and again. He hadn't even known that Sam was into this kinda thing. Obviously he didn't want to tell him that he wrote poetry in fear of getting teased. Well it was kinda girlish, but the result was beautiful.

And Dean really couldn't boast about being his tough self right now either, his feelings being so touched.

"And the end of the day there's only you"

How Sam expressed all that he felt himself! It was unbelievable!

They really didn't have anybody in their lives but each other, especially now since Dad had passed away. Dean wanted to be everything for Sam after that. He had tried to look after him and give him everything he needed. But how well he had succeeded, he had not known until now.

Dean never needed anyone in his life, anyone but Sam. Perhaps he even needed him more, depended on him more emotionally then he had ever let shine through. In truth, Dean was scared of being alone, of loosing the one person that had ever been close to him.

Sam was the center of Dean's world and he wanted him to know that.

He thought about going back and telling Sammy how he felt, but he feared everything he wanted to say might come out wrong. He often said things he didn't mean but couldn't help doing so. But this was Sam, and he deserved the best possible answer.

After a couple of minutes Dean returned to the shore of the lake with a pen and some sheets of paper. Looking at the blue sparkling surface of the lake, he thought about what to write. Certainly no poem, he wouldn't go there. Although it was sweet of Sammy to do so, it wasn't Dean's style. If he was going to get all emotional he would try to do it as manly as he could. A letter perhaps? It seemed the only thing that made sense. I had been a while, however, since he had written any letters. In fact he couldn't recall ever writing a letter outside of school.

He had never had such strong feelings for anyone and had certainly never felt the need to express himself in such a way. Starting with 'Dear Sammy', Dean already knew that this would be one of the hardest things he had ever done. Clenching his fist around the pen, he tried to focus his thoughts and emotions.

For Sam, it was all for Sam.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'Dear Sammy, you know I'm not a man of many words, especially not the written kind. I guess you already know how hard this is for me, but bear with me. I may not have a talent for writing, like you seem to have yourself, but I do have a lot to say to you, things that have to be said, that are long overdue.
First of all, however, I want to let you know that I read your note and the poem. I was more than a bit surprised, as you can imagine, but also deeply touched. No on has ever said things like that about me, ever. Women may date me, but they're never truly in love with me. Not that I blame them; I do treat people like dirt sometimes.
You are the one person who has seen the best and the worst of me and are still around. Although our blood binds us to one another, I have always hoped that there was more between us. Your poem gives me more hope now then ever.
I really don't know how to say this…my thoughts and feelings are already running wild. There is so much I need to tell you, or show you perhaps. Truths be told, I hold you in my heart and you can be sure you will remain there forever. Dean'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After finishing the short letter, Dean read through it a couple of times, somewhat displeased with the result. He really wasn't good at writing, but the words were full of truth, even if they weren't as beautiful as Sam's. He hoped that Sam would understand.

Folding the letter, he put it into the pocket of his jacket next to Sam's poem and slowly began walking back to the motel. A bit nervous, he stood in front of their room. He wasn't so sure about giving the letter to Sam any more. It wasn't very good and perhaps Sam didn't want an answer. But at the same time he knew he owed it to him.

Finally entering the room, he found Sam sitting on the bed. Within an instant he got up and went towards him. In his eyes Dean could see so much uncertainty and anxiety. He almost seemed to hold his breath. Dean was amazed how fragile Sam appeared, as if everything was dependent on what he would do now. He wanted to say something, but found no words. All he could do was smile.

And suddenly a weight seemed to fall of Sam and his face also lit up in a smile. Then Dean slowly pulled his letter from his jacket and waved it at him.

Approaching each other at the same time, they stopped only inches apart, still smiling. Dean so wanted to touch Sam's face right now, which almost seemed to glow. To hell with the letter! He wanted to show Sammy what he felt, take his chance and show the full force of his passion. He had longed to set it free for so long! Any doubts about Sam's feelings vanished, as he lost himself in those beautiful, deep green eyes.

Slowly he put the letter back in his jacket. It was not important. All that he knew is that he wanted to show Sam how he felt. Reaching out, he very slightly began to touch his face. Sam closed his eyes as he increased the firmness of his touch. A moment later, he was pulling Sam's face closer to his so that he could feel his warm breath upon his own face. His smell was so sweet! He could feel the heat radiating from his body.

"Oh Dean!" Sam moaned, their lips almost touching.

Dean's hand caressed Sam's cheek a bit longer before it gentle dived into his gorgeous, chaotic hair. Hearing him groan once more and tilting his head back in pleasure, Dean couldn't hold back any longer. His other free hand grasped Sam's head as well and pulled his lips upon his own. For a short moment they just lingered there, feeling the warm breath of each other.

Dean wanted to close his eyes, but seeing Sam like this, so willingly, was just too beautiful. He didn't want to miss a second of this. Finally their lips began moving against each other in a sweet rhythm. Sam's tongue came out and very slowly licked it's way over Dean's mouth. A shudder went down Dean's spine that almost made him scream. When his own tongue met Sam's, the purest passion and love possible was unleashed. Their mouths met again, crushing upon each other. Their tongues desperately wanted to merge into one. It was a battle they were doomed to loose. Their need was simply too great.

Dean's heart was racing against Sam's own heartbeat which he felt, their chests pressing against each other. For the first time in his life Dean truly felt close to Sam; a closeness he had somehow always longed for without really knowing. This made life worthwhile living! Holding on to this moment, they could cope with whatever would came after.

Breaking the intimacy after what appeared to be a lifetime, they both found themselves still speechless.
When Sam was able to move again, he simply grasped his brother's hand and led him to the bed. Dean followed willingly, still dealing with the aftermath of their kiss. He looked deep into Sam's eyes and could see nothing in them but love. Pure and true.

"God Sammy! Had I known years ago!"

"I know. I just couldn't tell you. I don't really know why. I guess now was the right time."

Both couldn't stop smiling.

"So I guess you liked my poem?"

"Are you kidding? It was the most beautiful thing I've ever read. And to know that it was all because of me, was amazing. I didn't know what to do, so I thought about writing you a letter in response, but it didn't really work out."

"A letter?" Sam asked confused.

"I can just imagine that! So what happened? You didn't find the right words?"

"Kinda."

"Oh well. I guess it would have been too funny to read a love letter from you."

"Hey, who said anything about a love letter? Well I guess it's good then that I didn't give it to you, or else you would be mocking me now."

Sam's facial expression changed from a slight laughter to amazement.

"Oh God, you did really write a love letter, didn't you?"

And then it struck him like lightening.

"The piece of paper you waved at me before, that wasn't my poem, was it? That was your letter?"

Dean nodded.

"Well then give it to me. I want to read it."

"Nooo way."

Dean turned to the side, taking up a protective posture.

"I'm not going to give it to you so you can make fun of me."

Sam sighed.

"Oh Dean, come on! I won't make fun of you, I promise. Besides, you did intend to give it to me, didn't you? So I have a right to read it."

"Forget it!"

"What? No I won't!"

All of a sudden Sam tried to reach over into Dean's jacket. If Dean wasn't going to give him his letter, he was going to take it by force. Dean struggled to try and keep Sam's hands away. Quickly they got into a cat-fight, their hands starting to wrestle. Then Sam managed somehow to get Dean's hands behind his back and hold them there long enough for him to yank the letter from the jacket pocket.

"Ha, got it!" Sam cried out in satisfaction.

After that he jumped of the bed, waiting for Dean to pursue him. His brother, however, had no such intentions.

"Oh well, go ahead and read it. Guess I can't stop you anyway. But no laughing, please!"

"I promise."

Resting in a chair by the door, Sam unfolded the letter and began to read it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few minutes later he closed it again and gazed at Dean with tears in his eyes. There was no laughter and no mocking. Deeply touched, Sam looked Dean deep into the eyes and slowly opened his mouth.
The words escaping were hardly more than a whisper, but still cut through the air like a sharp sword:

"I love you Dean"

Within seconds Dean rose from the bed and was at Sam's side grasping his hands once more and kneeling before him.

"I love you, Samuel Winchester. Always have and always will."

Sinking into each other's arms, they both knew that all their writing efforts had been worth it.

~Fin~
">

Fiction: Author Verse 1/2

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 12:15:37 GMT

Title: A Poem for Dean
Author: wiccaqueen
Pairing: Sam/ Dean
Rating: PG-13
Category: Pre-Slash

"You keep my world together"
Those words kept on coming back into Sam's mind, over and over again.
He was walking along a small lake just behind the motel they were staying at. It was a wonderful spring day, warm and sunny. The air was filled with the sent of jasmine and roses and everywhere new life sprung up.
Sam loved exploring nature, seeing the seasons change.

However, since he had been back hunting with his brother, he hadn't had much time just to take off and admire the surroundings. Only very seldom, like now, he could steal away for a few minutes and take a walk, take in all the beauty around him. It made him feel light weighted, to forget all the horrors he had to face day in and day out.

The other thing in his life that kept him from going insane sometimes was his brother Dean.

"You keep my world together", that's what he felt when he thought of Dean. But there was so much more he needed to express.

So he had taken a small notebook and a pen along on his stroll. He couldn't talk to Dean openly. He knew the words would come out wrong, if they would be coming out at all. And he feared Dean's reaction more than anything.

His feelings had developed in an unexpected way.

He had always loved his brother, looked up to him and felt protected by him. But since being back on the road together again, a different kind of closeness had developed. Dad's death just intensified the need to hold on to Dean.

At first Sam didn't realize how dangerous these feelings were, maybe he still didn't. Those final three words hadn't crossed his mind yet, though he felt it in every fibre of his body.

Finding a place to sit just by the shore of the lake, Sam opened up his heart.

All the emotions just seemed to be overthrowing each other. But he wanted to write in a clear and understanding style, nothing too twisted.
Closing his eyes, he listened to the soft music the birds made near by and felt the sun shine on his face.

Then he tried to imagine Dean in front of him. What would he want to say to him?

"And the end of the day there's only you".

Dean was really everything to him now with Dad gone. They were two freaks alone in this battle against all evil. No other friends or loved ones, they only had each other.

But Dean was all Sam needed. Every time he'd feel bad or got scared, his big brother would be there for him. Every time he'd do something wrong, his big brother would stick out for him. And every time he'd feel lost, Dean would save him.

He knew he could never feel this way for anyone else. Dean was special. And although he dreamt of having a normal life someday, he didn't want it if it meant being without Dean.

He could stand sleeping in filthy motel rooms, could stand living in the Impala and even continue hunting, as long as it meant being with Dean.
But since Chicago, he wasn't sure that his brother knew all of this. He had said some stupid things back then, but so much had changed now. He wouldn't go back to college anymore, wouldn't leave Dean. He meant too much to him. That's why he had to let him know how he felt.

Opening his eyes again, he grabbed his pen and began to write down all that he had inside of him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In this world so full of evil,
you protect me.
In my heart so full of pain,
you hold me.
In my dreams so full of fear,
you find me.
I fear of drowning in darkness,
you save me.

When we've finished all the fighting,
when we've seen it all through,
the heart is struck by lightning.
At the end of the day there's only you.

You keep my world together,
only you, forever.

Saving me from all bad and evil,
your responsibility.
Falling asleep in your arms, finding
my tranquillity.
All the times you were there,
a certainty.
All the times I held on to you,
a normality.

When we've faced all our fears,
and battled the supernatural anew,
when we've suppressed all the tears,
At the end of the day there's only you.

You keep my world together,
only you, forever.

Looking into your eyes,
you know.
Smiling at your face,
I understand.
Teasing each other,
we laugh.
Finding each other,
we come home.

When we've saved everyone but us,
when we've nearly sacrificed ourselves too,
when there's no more to discuss,
All I want in the end is you.

You keep my world together,
only you, now and forever.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After it was done, he read through it and smiled to himself. Maybe it was a bit girly, but he didn't care. It came from the depth of his heart.
Now all that was left was to give Dean the poem. But how to do it? A moment of uncertainty washed over him. He would sure as hell begin to laugh and maybe not even read more than the first lines.

He couldn't let that happen.

Folding the poem, he stuck into a small envelope and then decided to add a note. Hopefully Dean would read it first and then be a bit more appreciative.

Finally closing the envelope, he wrote 'Dean' on the back of it and slipped it into his jacket.

After a few more minutes of enjoying the view, Sam returned to the motel.
He put the envelope of Dean's bed and then went to his computer, continuing his normal research.

Ten minutes later Dean came back from grocery shopping. He spotted the envelope immediately and frowned.

"Hey Sammy you've seen this envelope?"

"Yeah," he replied shyly but trying to not seem too nervous.

"Is it from you?"

Sam nodded, looking in Dean's direction.
Obviously Dean didn't know what to make of it.

"Why is there something you can't say to me in person, you have to start writing me letters now?"

"It's not a letter."

"Then what is it?"
Sam got up and went over to Dean.

"Please Dean just read it, but read the note in it at first. It might explain some things."

Dean still looked somewhat amazed, but slowly began to open the envelope.
"Not here, please."

"Then where should I read it?"

"You could go outside, the sun is shinning and there's a beautiful lake nearby. Please Dean, do me this favour."

"I don't know what the hell is going on here, but I can't say no to those puppy eyes. But later on, we talk about it?"

"If you still want to."

Shaking his head, his brother stuck the envelope his jacket pocket and left the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once outside he walked a few minutes before reaching the lake Sam had talked about. It really was beautiful, although he would never admit that in front of Sam. He wasn't one to admire nature and get all touchy feely about it.

Finding a spot to sit just under a tree he opened the envelope and found the small note.

His brother has had some weird ideas over the years, but this seemed really kinda strange.

Somewhere inside Dean was worried that this might be a goodbye letter from Sam.

He had mentioned he wanted to leave again, back when they were in Chicago. Sure things had changed since then but he always had known this was not the life Sam wanted to live. He wanted to go back to college and have a normal life. And he deserved it, more than anything.

And although Dean would never say it out loud it hurt him like hell when Sam had told him he wanted to take off again and live his own life.
"You have to let me go", that's what he had said, but how the hell was he supposed to do that?

The love he had felt for his little brother had so increased these last months. Sometimes it scared the shit out of him just how far he would go to protect Sammy.

He loved him, perhaps more than he should, more than he would ever show.
Beginning to read the note, his hands began to shake.

"Dean, I know this may seem weird to you and to be quite honest with you it is a bit weird for me too. But there are some things I want to tell you, I need you to know, but I fear I can never tell you in person. I know how you hate chick-flick moments. So please just read what I have written, if you can, read it through to the end. It explains so much, it means so much. Sam."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After half an hour Dean finally returned to the motel room.
Sam was sitting on his bed, trying to calm his nerves and focus on anything but Dean's reaction.

As he entered the room, he held out the envelope and Sam knew he'd read it.

Holding his breath, he stood up and walked over his brother.
Then all of a sudden Dean began to smile and pulled him closer.
And he knew that everything was okay, everything was just going to be just fine.

Second Part

Jared's eating habits

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 11:31:41 GMT

I am obsessed with Jared these days, can't really tell why. Well when you take a look at this photo you might just understand what I mean...
http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/24908952.html#cutid1

So cute how he describes what he eats and eats and eats! :-) Ahh....isn't he just perfect?

35 Random Questions

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 11:48:33 GMT

Since I haven't used this LJ to post a lot personal stuff yet, I thought it might be a good idea to post the following....
Thanks to ashchethem for the idea ;-)

1) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
A. No, since of last week I'm single again.

2) What was your dream growing up?
A. I wanted to be a writer/poet.

3) What talent do you wish you had?
A. Great singing voice.

4) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
A. Pina Colada.

5) Favorite vegetable?
A. Sweet Pepper.

6) What was the last book you read?
A. Die Tage der Bluegrass Liebe. (Gay Romance)

7) What zodiac sign are you?
A. Aquarius.

8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
A. One Tattoo, left inner ankle. And it's a triskle.

9) Worst Habit?
A. Chewing Nails.

10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
A. Sorry, don't have a car.

11) What is your favorite sport?
A. Swimming.

12) Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude?
A. Depends what time of day it is.

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
A. Depends on the person I guess. But it could get interesting ;-)

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
A. The loss of a good friend.

15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
A. Everything about me is pretty weird.

16) Do you have any pets?
A. No.

17) What if i showed up at your house unexpectedly?
A. Ask if you wanna watch a DVD with me :-)

18) What was your first impression of me? (hmmm...careful!)
A. Cute header.

19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
A. Definatly scarry!

20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
A. Ohh, much too much. One thing: smaller ass.

21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
A. Partner in crime :-)

22) What color eyes do you have?
A. Green with a bit of brown.

23) Ever been arrested?
A. Nope.

24) Bottle or can soda?
A. Bottle.

25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
A. Go shopping!

27) What's your favorite place to hang at?
A. My windowsill.

28) Do you believe in ghosts?
A. I want to believe.

29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
A. Read, write, match TV.

30) Do you swear a lot?
A. Sometimes.

31) Biggest pet peeve?
A. Miau

32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
A. Confusium.

33) Do you believe in/appreciate romance?
A. I do.

35) Do you believe in God?
A. I tend to believe in the Goddess and a certai spirituality in nature and all life.

36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
A. Why not.

What Jared wears beneath

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 11:36:55 GMT

Just some cute little news I came across...http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/24838717.html

Can just imagine what Jared must look like with those tight underpants!!! *squee*

Happy Birthday Bea!

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 07:38:06 GMT

This is a wee Birthday shout out to my dear bea80

Eigene Glitzer-Grafiken erstellen

Audiofic Recs

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 09:57:40 GMT

Here's something I've thought about for a long time, but never actually got around to doing.
But first a few words....

I'm a total audiofic addict!!! Have been ever since I stumbled across evp_voices and heard the audio version of the very first Sam/Dean Fic I had ever read. Since then I was kinda hooked. After EVP I had to wait months and months for new audiofic communities to open up and was so glad when I found podslash and of course motelwincest . They have been my source of audiofics ever since. And then there also is the amazing audiofic archive of jinjurly .

Sam/Dean

The Devil really does wear Prada by balefully
Sam is in the fashion business when Dean seeks his help. (Hilarious!)

What lies beneath by sneaky_sena
Dean gets a kink from wearing panties. (It's a lot better than it sounds)

A Lack of Real Spice (In Your Life) by memphis86
Sam begins to play a game with Dean, but before he knows it, things might be getting a little bit outta hand. (Hot, hot, hot!)

The Firefly that loved Metallica by fleshflutter
Sam has Dean's soul. Now all he has to do is find a way to put it back into his body. (Emotional, sad but with happy ending)

The Process of Taking by joosetta

Don't they know (it's the end of the world) by lightening
The world is ending, over and over again. (Sad but beautiful)

Green and Gamboge by sevenfists
Dean encounters some gremlins who kinda form an attachment to him. (Very sweet!)

Life is a banquet by chaobell
What happens when Sam and Dean are cursed and can't stop eating? Yep they try to distract themselves...(Cute, funny and hot!)

People livin in competition by ladyjaida
Pranks always get out of hand. (Short scenes with a lot of fun)

Pillowtalk by eighth_horizon
The Winchester brothers have to share a bed! (Simply great)

Deep Waters by ruefulgirl
Dean got a blow to his head and now Sam had to wash his hair for him. (Short, but hot)

Smoke and Mirrors by nu_breed
Dean only has one year left. (Sad, hot and simply great)

Touch by ruefulgirl
Dean hasn't touched Sam in weeks. (Short but sooo good)

A Prori by memphis86
Sam wakes in a monastery and has no memory of who he is or what happened to him. (OMG!!! Be sure to cry)

Guardians of a rare thing by esorlehcar
Sam and Dean slowly find to one another (Short scenes, beautifully written)

The Coat of unearthly Delight by goddamnarmsrace
Dean's coat is sex, at least to Sam. (Hot, hot, hot!)

One Year, Four Months by not_refined
Dean's moment to go to hell has finally come, but Sam won't let him die alone (So very sad, but beautiful)

Fixation by drvsilla
Wee!cest Sam and Dean have been on the road to long with John and are dying to touch each other. (If you love wee!cest, you'll love this!)

Keepsake by belyste
Sam only wants a foto of his brother, but that is harder to get than he ever thought. (Simply wonderful)

Untitled 9 (the popsicle story) by drvsilla
Wee!cest: Sam can be such a tease. (Kink & Wee!cest, what more do you want?)

All things bright and beautiful by angstslashhope
POV Sam's favourite teddy describes different moments in Sam's life (Ahh!!!)

One more night by emilia
Sam is dead and Dean mourns him (Be prepared to cry)

Show me how you do that trick by thenyxie
Missing scene from 'Ghostfacers', read by the wonderful

The Jared Padalecki untitled Project esohpe
After Supernatural, Jared and Jensen haven't spoken in years. Now they have to work together again. (Wonderfully long story, great build up)

Jared/Jensen
Matters of the Heart by goddamnarmsrace
Jared and Jensen share some intimate moments after weeks of abstenence. (Hot, hot, hot)

Sweet Talk by destina
Jensen keeps finding sweet little notes and wants to find out who is behind them (So sweet!)

The Unequivocal Sex Invite by miss_begonia
Clueless, Emma ala J². (It's to die for!)

Have you seen him who my soul loves by veronamay
AU: Jensen is a priest. Jared a car mechanic who is engaged. When they meet, all hell breaks loose. (My absolutly fav Fic!!!)

A piece of a puzzle known as life by keepaofthecheez
AU: Jensen visits his roommate's family and gets to know his younger brother Jared. (Underage sex)

Common knowledge by elucreh

Everyone knows that Jared and Jensen are in love, hell there's even a song about it! (Lots of fun, crazy fan girls) </div>

Dallas Con

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 16:02:22 GMT

Some more Info on the Dallas Con with Jared and Jim. God I love these guys!!!
saltnburn published these Con videos...Jared is so cute, all sweaty and nervous! *g* And OMG, he's about to STRIP!!! I would have paid to see that ;-)

Video 2
Video 3

News Update: Jared confirms

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 12:34:33 GMT

Okay, since I have had no rest since I heard the news that the engagement was off, I went searching for news, come across some terrible rumors....but now Jared spoke at the Dallas Con and confirmed that the engagement is in fact off.

Video

No wonder he had to say something, I'm guessing the pressure was pretty high, judging from the way the fans reacted. I think it's also great that he came out and made the statement before questions arose.
Of course, no answer yet to the rumors of him cheating on her. I just have to trust that that isn't true.

Oh and there was also some really good news...something to make me smile *g*
Jensen's family was at the Dallas Con to support Jared. The parents showed up aswell as his brother and sister. *awww*

http://devidarkwolf.livejournal.com/206027.html

News: Jared and Sandy no longer engaged!

Sun, 08 Jun 2008 10:26:03 GMT

OMG!!! Have to catch my breath....I just heard that Sandy and Jared are no longer engaged. I heard the rumor from momotastic yesterday and my heart nearly skipped. When I had the news confirmed today, I just couldn't help making squee noises :-D ...God I'm horrible....
But I'm so happy, and I can't help it!

Here's the original post where I read it:
http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/24276147.html

Fiction: A Moment in Time

Sun, 25 May 2008 13:16:27 GMT

Title: A Moment in Time
Author: wiccaqueen
Characters: Sam, Dean
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Spoiler for 'No Rest for the Wicked'

This hardly more than a drabble, centred around the last scenes of the finale episode.
Just my way to deal with the emotional ending....

A Moment in Time

He was gone, just like that. It had all happened so fast, too fast for Sam to do anything.

Yeah of course, he had been stunned by Lilith, unable to move while the hellhound leaped upon Dean and tore him to shreds, but he still felt like he should have done something. Something had happened, but Sam couldn’t explain what it was. In an instant Lilith had lost her powers and Sam had been free to move again. The triumph over her didn’t really mean much to Sam though, not when he saw his brother’s dead body lying only a few feet away. He hadn’t been able to stop the hellhounds, hadn’t able to get Dean out of his deal, and now he was here, holding his body in his arms, feeling the warmth fading away, seeing the blood dripping from the wounds, his eyes staring at him lifeless, dead.

Sam was crying now, letting the tears flow without any control. He bit his lip to stop from trembling, from shouting out loud, from doing anything, because nothing would help anymore, nothing could help Dean, because Dean was already on his way to hell.

Even though Sam couldn’t even begin to fathom what hell must be like, he had a pretty good idea that it wasn’t made of white clouds and golden gates. And just the thought of Dean being tortured in hell, over and over again, having to relieve his worst nightmares, day after day, was enough to almost make him puke his guts out.

His mind was racing, trying somehow to figure out a way to stop this. To stop what already was over and done with. He replayed the last seconds in his mind, hearing Dean’s shouts still ringing in his ears and tried desperately to find a way out of this, but he couldn’t come up with a solution. But Sam just couldn’t accept defeat. Not yet, not when it came so sudden and not when it deprived him of what was most precious to him, the only thing that really mattered in his life: his beloved brother. Although he was the younger one and had never sworn to Dad to look out for him, it was his job too. With Jess gone and with the crazy life they lived, day in and day out, Dean was all he could hold on to. Everything that was stable and good and precious to him. With Dean gone what would become of him now?

He thought about the powers he’d had in the moment when he defeated Lilith. The origin of that power was still hidden to him, something Sam didn’t really want to look into too closely. He didn’t want to explore them either, fearing of what he might turn into in the end. But at the same time, he tried with all his strength to gather those powers again, clenching the dead body of his brother, praying, wishing, and trying desperately to force life in to the body again. Dean had to live! He just had to! He had to wake up and breathe! Sam looked at his chest, right about where his heart was. No movement was to be seen. His heart had truly stopped pumping. Although he had the proof right here in his arms, he didn’t want to accept it, not yet.

Tears swell up again and ran down his cheeks. He allowed himself to weep, not just letting the tears spill over his face, not just letting every muscle in his body tremble, it was more than that. His whole being, his soul or whatever it was that was keeping him alive was weeping over Dean. He was full of grief, because there was nothing else left, there was nothing, because Dean had taking everything with him when he had gone to hell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean woke to a terrible pain. His body was bruised and broken, his wounds burned as though he was being torched alive. His hands and feet were bound tight, just tight enough to make him feel the burning pain of his wrists and ankles. Everywhere he looked he saw nothing, but blood and darkness. Death was all around him, the scent of burnt flesh, and the screams of souls being tortured. Hell, as it now turned out, was truly formed out of bones and blood, like he heard in a legend somewhere once upon a time.

Dark clouds surrounded him, carrying the distinct scent of sulfur and death with them. There was no end to it, everything seemed to be eternal. There was no time, no space, no dimension of any sort he could decipher. He saw his body, felt the pain, but somehow he knew that he couldn’t be his body feeling the actual pain, because his body was lying dead somewhere. Was Sam still holding on to it?

Never before in his life had Dean been so scared as in this very moment. The pain sharp, run through his body, again and again. He couldn’t see what was causing it, but it felt like his back was being torn apart, like every inch of his skin was being ripped open by sharp, pointy nails to let the blood drip out slowly. It was torture, but then that’s what hell is all about. Like a demon once told him: Hell is, well it’s like hell.

He screamed, but there was no one to hear him, no one to answer his calls. He was desperate, as desperate as he had never been in his life before, as desperate as pride had never let him become. But now there was nothing else left, so he could be desperate. He shouted out for somebody to help him, and then he shouted out for Sam. The only name he seemed to remember, the only name that seemed to weigh more than his heart. The only name that had ever meant anything to him.

But Sam didn’t answer, Sam wasn’t here, Sam couldn’t help him. He was alone.

Supernatural Podcast - New Episodes/ Season Finale

Sat, 24 May 2008 08:58:40 GMT

Es gibt wieder neue Podcasts! Diesmal zu den letzten Folgen der 3.Staffel von SPN

Achtung: Hier wird gespoilt!!!

WJ#22: Long Distance Call

WJ#23: Time is on my Side

WJ#24: No Rest for the Wicked

Zu dem gibts jetzt die neue Webseite online: http://www.winchesterjournal.de

Supernatural Podcast - New Episode

Thu, 01 May 2008 10:02:09 GMT

Here's another new epsiode of my Supernatural Podcast where we talk all about the newest episode 3x13 'Ghostfacers'.

In dieser neuen Folge von Winchester Journal geht es ganz um die neuste Folge die auf CW ausgestrahlt wurde.

WJ#21: Ghostfacers

Jetzt gibts jede Woche wieder ein neues folgenbezogenes Podcast zu den Folgen der 3.Staffel bis zum Finale!
Viel Spaß damit :-)

New Poetry Community

Sat, 26 Apr 2008 14:49:13 GMT

I've just opened a new poetry community for amateur poets! Mostly because I write poetry myself and want a new place to put some ;-)
But everyone is welcome to come and join and share their work of art!
BTW: You can post poems in both Englisch and German

wiccapoetry

Audio Fiction: Almost Lovers

Sat, 26 Apr 2008 11:24:28 GMT

I've done an audio recording of my newest Fic 'Almost Lovers' in which I also intergrated the song which inspired the fic 'Almost Lover' by A fine Frenzy.

You can download it temporarily at

Megaupoload

Sendspace

Permanent link (courtesy of general_jinjur ): here (right click and save as)

Also published in podslash

Supernatural Podcast - New Episode

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 09:37:55 GMT

Here's a new episode of our Podcast entitled 'SPN International'.

Hier ist die neue Episode von unserem Podcast mit dem Titel 'SPN International'. Es ist aber nur ein Minipodcast, also nicht wundern. Reguläre Episodenpodcasts gibts dann ab Ende April wieder ;-)

WJ #19 Journal Page: SPN International

Falls euch diese Epiosde gefällt oder ihr Fragen habt, nennt euch doch die Zeit einen Comment zu schreiben! Danke! :-)

Außerdem bastle ich momentan an einer neuen Webseite für das Podcast, die hoffentlich auch bald online sein wird.

Fanart Set

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 17:01:56 GMT

Here's my new Fanart Set entitled 'Dean's Baby'. Let me know what you think ;-)

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Fiction: Almost Lovers

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 09:45:21 GMT

Title: Almost Lover (Song von Fine Frenzy)
Author: wiccaqueen
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: Mild R

It is official. Jared Padalecki and Sandy McCoy are engaged to be married.

Jensen was the first to know next to Jared’s and Sandy’s family, and he smiled as Jared told him over a beer one night. It wasn’t a surprise. They’d been dating for 4 years after all, and Jared had spoken about marriage plans long before. It just somehow still seemed to come as somewhat of a shock. Jensen didn’t even know why, but somehow it didn’t make him feel happy to hear the news. Instead, he’d held on to his beer, clenching it just a bit too hard and taking a deep shallow. Jared’s eyes had been on him all the time, expecting a reaction. When he sat the beer bottle down again, he forced a smile on his lips, drew a sharp breath and managed to say: “I’m happy for you.”

Those had been the hardest words he had ever had to say in his life. And now it was official. They’d announced it at the LA convention and now it was in all the papers, on all the websites and everywhere he went. Fans, which recognized him on the street, came up screaming, but not like usual to ask for an autograph or take a picture with him. No, they wanted to congratulate, wanted to talk about the engagement. Did they even realize that it was Jared getting engaged? Jensen tried to smile and provide some answers, but on the inside he felt weak, torn and the fans didn’t even notice.

Jared walked around on set happy as could be and still getting his lines perfect. Jensen didn’t know if he could act as good if he were in the same position right now. The guy was just perfect in every way. Good looks, great talent and now soon a beautiful wife by his side. He was living every guy’s dream…every guy’s except Jensen’s. But no one knew what Jensen dreamt about, what made him break out in cold sweat in the middle of the night or made him feel sick every time he saw his costar gleam with happiness. Was it envy? He thought about it for about a second before dismissing that idea. He knew what it was, had always known, but didn’t want to see it.

Three days after going public with the news, things got much worse than Jensen could have anticipated.
They had wrapped early today, getting all the senses just perfect after a couple of times so the crew got to call it an early evening. Everybody went home with a satisfied look on their face…damn happy people! Jensen was again the only one who couldn’t be happy, and he couldn’t pretend he was either. A dark cloud was covering the bright sun in his sky and no matter what happened it wouldn’t go away. All he wanted to do was go home, lie down on his couch and drink himself dizzy. He remembered buying a six-pack a couple of days ago and there was still an old bottle of jack somewhere around. And that was really all he needed, all he could handle.
But fate never smiles on him, or so it seems. Just when Jensen had emptied his 4th beer and was on to his 2nd glass of jack, the doorbell rang. Fuck! It was Jared, of all people, stopping by to say hi and see how he was doing, because obviously whatever he was feeling, it was beginning to show. Jensen grunted, refilling his glass and offering Jared a beer. He was so not in the mood to talk, but it was Jared. And he couldn’t turn him down, no matter how much he wanted to be alone right now.

“So…” Jared starts, “you okay?”

“Yeah, sure, why not?”

“It’s just…I don’t know. You just seemed quiet today, y’know, not your usual kind of quiet. I just wondered if something was a matter. So I thought I’d come by and check on you.”

Jensen is biting his lip now, trying to stop the trembling. He can’t force a smile out, so he just shakes his head and tries to hide his feelings.

“Nah, everything’s great. Besides, don’t you have better things to do than check in on your costar? I mean wedding plans…what not…”

Jared eyes flicker and he sets his beer bottle down on the table, leaning in closer as if to scrutinize Jensen.

“So nothing’s up? Nothing bothering you? Cause you kinda sounded that way just now.”

Another glass of jack.

“And you sitting here drinking all by yourself…that’s not you Jen. I know better. So would you mind telling me what’s going on? Has it got something to do with my engagement?”

“No! No, why would you say that?”

“Well you mentioned it before…you don’t think I’m going to start ignoring my friends just because I’m getting married, are you?”

“No, of course not. I would never think such a thing, Jay.”

“Good, okay. Just wanted to get that cleared.”

Silence for a couple of minutes, uncomfortable silence. Jensen takes another swallow from his glass, emptying it. Jared sits and stares. He’s waiting for an answer, for some sort of explanation Jensen isn’t ready to give. His hand his shaking as he puts the empty glass back on the table. Jared watches his every move, trying desperately to read him. When Jared gets up to come closer, Jensen knows that he’s lost this battle. He can’t say no to Jared, can’t deny him anything.

“Tell me what’s going on man. I’m here for you, you know that. And I can see that something is eating you up inside.”

He is by his side now, resting a hand gently on his thigh. Where it touches, Jensen can feel the warmth growing. It doesn’t mean much more than comfort and reassurance, but it feels like a whole lot more, sending sparks through his whole body.
Jensen can’t speak; his mouth has gone totally dry. He sits still trying to avoid Jared’s eyes still watching him pleadingly. When he finds his voice again it is weak and brittle just like his heart.

“Jay, I don’t know where to start. I don’t know how to…how to tell you…”

The grip becomes firmer and now Jared adds an arm around Jensen’s shoulders as if wanting to hold him up. It’s too much, too damn much!
Jensen lowers his head, suppressing a faint moan and lets the first teardrop roll down his cheek.

“Jen, Jen, Jen, don’t! I’m here for you. C’mon talk to me man!”

And then he gathers the limb body up in his own, flinging his arms desperately around Jensen’s whole body. Their cheeks are pressed close together and Jensen knows that Jared must feel the dampness there. But he doesn’t care. He can’t hold back his pain anymore.
He can hear Jared whispering soothing words into his ear, hands moving up and down his back and cradling his head. He’s trying to hush him, to tell him that everything is going to be okay, but it isn’t.

“Jay, I can’t…it’s not…”

His words are drowned by chocked tears and he knows they don’t make any sense. His heart and body are screaming and he just hopes that somehow Jared can hear him, can feel him. He knows him better than anyone else does, he must know, must feel!
And he manages to say one word: “Sandy.”

Jared backs away for a second, but still holds on to him. He looks into his tear-stained face puzzled. And then it’s as if a light goes on.
Jensen holds his breath, his heart beating so loud that Jared must hear it pounding.

“I’m happy for you…really I am, I try to be, it’s just...it’s just…”

Jared keeps avoiding his eyes. It hurts like hell, and Jensen’s afraid that he’s about to lose everything now. That’s exactly the reason he never said anything. That was why he tried to forget his feelings, bury them so deep down and it almost worked…until he heard of the engagement.

“It’s just that I realized that…”

“…that you love me.”

Jensen can’t be hearing right. His heart is close to exploding, overfilling with emotion.
“Yeah. I guess I do. I’m sorry Jay, god I’m so sorry…”

And then Jared is looking at him again, gripping his arms firmly as he continues.

“Don’t say you’re sorry! That is the last thing you should feel. No one should feel sorry for loving someone.”

Jensen is trembling by now, ready to fall into a thousand small pieces, the only thing holding him together are Jared’s arms. The tears just continue to flow and he can’t care about them anymore. He can’t care about embarrassing himself, done that already. He can’t care about anything anymore because Jared knows. And that’s the only thing that counts.
His deep green eyes look at him, full of despair, mirroring his own reflection.

“How long, Jen?”

“What does it matter?”

“It matters.”

“I don’t know, I can’t remember.”

His voice is breaking again, a little too rough and a little too high.
How to go on from here, Jensen doesn’t know. He never planned for anything like this. But now Jared knows, he knows and he’s here, right in front of him. Jensen’s never created any fantasies of what might be, never allowed himself that sort of delight. Looking at Jared’s troubled face now millions of pictures all of a sudden fill his head: kissing, touching, making love. They tear him up inside. Jared must see his pain.

“Jen, I can’t stand to see you like this. I want to help you. You know I’m here for you.”

Jared Padalecki, always the best friend.

“How can you help me, Jay? You know you can’t. I don’t want you to. I didn’t even want you to know, don’t you get it? I can bare it alone, I know I can, I have to. But with you knowing….it just makes things a lot harder.”

He bites his lower lip, stopping any more words from escaping. Jared is looking at him now with a mixture of pity and disbelief. It’s so hard seeing him like this, knowing that he is the reason for this.

And then he’s falling to his knees, head close to Jensen’s lap and his hands seek his thighs, fingernails driving into the denim.
“Jen, for Christ sake! I can’t believe you wanted to keep this from me. This is me! I’m your best friend, we tell each other everything.”

“Even if it screws with your mind, or worse, screws up your relationship with Sandy?”

Jared doesn’t answer to that. He looks at Jensen for a while with uncertainty and then he’s coming even closer, crawling between his thighs, so Jensen is forced to spread them wider. Jensen’s breath hitches and he can feel the blood rushing to his aching member. This is so fucked up and what the hell is Jared even doing? He can’t, he shouldn’t. This has to stop before it even begins.
“Jay, stop this! You don’t know what you’re doing…”

Jared’s reply comes as another movement. He’s pressing his head against Jensen’s inner thigh, while his hands continue to travel upward. The tension is almost too much, the air in the room too hot. Just when he thinks things can’t get any worse, Jared speaks again:
“I love you too, Jen. I always have. And I always will.”

And Jensen’s heart stops, just for a moment. Silence falls and covers the room for seconds. Jensen doesn’t dare to move or even breathe. He’s afraid that if he does he might wake from this impossible dream.

“Jen?”

When he finally looks down and sees Jared smiling faintly, he doesn’t know anything anymore. Jared is here right in front of him, leaning into him and that’s all that counts. He can feel his warmth, can smell his aftershave. It’s the perfect moment, one dragonfly in amber. And he holds on to it like to a precious gem, locking it safely into his heart. Then he slowly lets his fingers roll over Jared’s soft cheek and tilts his head a bit, leaning forward to meet his lips.
The kiss is faint at first, lips barely brushing. Then Jared finds the courage to separate Jensen’s lips with his tongue and slips inside. The feeling, the taste is unbelievable. It’s everything Jensen has ever dreamed about and more. His fingers dive into Jared’s hair, pulling him closer, his legs pulling him in even more. Their bodies are pressed together, their tongues still urging to become one. It’s beautiful and perfect and much too short.

After a few minutes, they untangle themselves from each other’s mouths, letting air to breathe between them.
Jensen’s smiling now too, but still he knows he has to say the words. His throat is dry again, but he still has one hand in Jared’s hair, cradling his head.

“But you love Sandy more.”

Jared bits his lip, still slightly red and swollen from the kiss. His gaze drops and then meets Jensen’s again, almost desperate.
“It’s different. A different kind of love. But it doesn’t mean that it’s not as strong or as real. This I mean.”

His voice is shaky like Jensen’s before and his first tears are beginning to flow.
Jensen can’t stand to see him like this. So he leans forward one last time and places a soft kiss on Jared’s forehead. Just to comfort, nothing more.

“It’s okay Jay. I know. I get it. I never expected…This is more than I ever hoped for.”

And then he backs away, giving them both more space and prays that Jared will get up and move away because he doesn’t know how long he can last like this.
Without another word Jared does what Jensen hoped and moves slowly away, leaving a cold spot behind that makes Jensen shiver. He turns around one last time before heading for the door.

“Jen, I …”

“I know. I know.”

And then he nods, tears still spilling over and leaves in silence.

A half an hour later, Jensen is still sitting in the same position not able to move. He’s not even sure he’s still here, still living, still breathing. The tears have dried, but his eyes are still burning and his heart is still shattered to a million pieces.
When he finally moves, he runs outside into a freak rain shower that seemed to come out of nowhere. The clouds are dark, almost black and a strong wind is blowing. It’s beautiful; it’s just what he feels inside. He runs and runs and runs without destination. Nothing matters. His clothes get soaking wet, sticking to his skin that is still burning.
He’s humming something, something he doesn’t even recall hearing. It must be some sobbing sad love song. He remembers a couple of lines and when he lets them roll over his tongue, they have a bitter taste to them:

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

He turns his head to where he thinks the sun might be and lets the rain wash over his face and body. Almost lovers…and his heart breaks again and again and again.

The End

Fanart - Set

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 12:43:57 GMT

Okay so here's my very first Fanart Set. It's entitled 'Shoot Sandy' - yes I know, I'm evil! It's my response to the engagement news. And no, I don't really want to shoot her, but I just couldn't resist to do this. Hope you guys can live with it ;-)

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Supernatural Podcast - Episodes so far

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 09:34:01 GMT

As some of you might know, I have a German Supernatural Podcast. After bea80 asked me why I didn't post the episodes in my LJ, I thought why not? So here is a list of the episodes so far.

Hier sind nun also die bisherigen Folgen meines deutschen Supernatural Podcasts.

WJ#1: Quoten, Links und eine Supernatural Christmas Folge

WJ#2: Bücher, Salz und die Stars von Supernatural

WJ#3: Asylum

WJ#4: Eine Vogelscheuche, eine nordische Gottheit und Bäume

WJ#5: Ein Frage des Glaubens

WJ#6: Route 666 - Highway des Teufels

WJ#7: Träume, Telekinese und Hexen

WJ#8: Tödliche Schatten & Tödliche Träume

WJ#9 Journal Page: Impala

WJ#10: Jäger und Gejagte

WJ#11: Tulpa, Lilith und die Kunst des Krieges

WJ#12 Journal Page: EMF und Co

WJ#13: Something Wicked

WJ#14: Girlies, Geister und Gemälde

WJ#15 Journal Page: SPN Crew

WJ#16: Vampire, Dämonen und ein Colt

WJ#17: SPN fans and die Macht

WJ#18: Das große Finale

News: Jared and Sandy engaged!

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 11:04:24 GMT

Okay, so normally I wouldn't post SPN related news in here, but I just have to comment on this new event.
Yes, it's official and I'm sure you've all heard by now that Jared and Sandy are engaged. I got it from this source:

http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/21960298.html

What can I say? I should be happy for them...and I are at some level, but somehow my heart is also broken. No it's not because I'm jealous like many people are of Sandy, but as a huge Wincest Fan and of course a huge Jared/ Jensen fan I just have to say that this does blacken my day. We all know that our fantasies aren't ever going to become reality, of course, but still this hurts.

But it's just my opinion...

Audio Fiction: Bathtub Tales

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 12:22:09 GMT

Although this isn't new I still want to post it as an entry. Can't believe I forgot doing so before....

Here is the audio podslash version of my fiction Bathtub Tales

Permanent mp3 link courtesy of jinjurly's multifandom audiofic archive: here

Here is the audio podbook version of my fiction Bathtub Tales

Permanent m4b link courtesy of jinjurly's multifandom audiofic archive: here

Remember comments are love!!!

Also published in motelwincest