?

Log in

No account? Create an account
 
 
01 January 2008 @ 09:29 pm
Fiction: Spellbound 5/6  
Title: Spellbound 5/6
Author:
wiccaqueen     
Pairing:
Sam/Dean
Rating:
NC-17
Summary:
Dean is trying to forget what happened but Sam won't let him
Warning:
Drama
Disclaimer: 
Sam, Dean and John belong to their respected owners of the CW! I'm just borrowing them....

Spellbound 5/6

They reached the small town of  Hillsboro after a couple of hours on the highway. Since last night they hadn’t talked to each other, only exchanged the most necessary words.
Dean had wanted to leave town right away, after returning from the bar, but since it already had been pretty late, they had decided to stay another night.

In the morning Sam had woken to the noises his brother made packing up his things. For a shocking moment he thought Dean might take off without him. But after getting up, he simply told him to get his ass out off bed and get ready. He wasn’t in the mood for sticking around.
Obviously Dean’s mood hadn’t changed much. Sam could only imagine that his brother was mad at him, mad for letting him give into the spell. Now that is was all over, he surely felt disgusted by the thought of what had happened, of what he had let happen.

 After getting out of bed, Sam had glanced at his watch: 5.30 am!  Just what was going on in Dean’s mind? He was totally out of character.

“Come on, let’s get moving. I wanna put this town as quickly in my review mirror as possible!” 

Those were the last words they had spoken within hours.

After arriving at their destination, they immediately sought out the family members of the victims Dean had researched. Sam was somewhat surprised to see how his brother had gathered all the information on these possible werewolf killings all by himself. His latest research showed that the last string of murders had taken place 29 days ago. If this really was a werewolf, it would change again in a day or two. But first they had to be sure.

Having finished interviewing the families, they paid a visit to the local library, eager to find out all they could as to how these people were killed. Dean was very energetic, even most willingly looked through the piles and piles of old newspapers, without complaining. Defiantly out of character.
Sam recognized that this was Dean’s way to deal with what had happened between them.
He obviously didn’t just not want to talk about it, and much less wanted to think about it. Not that Sam could blame him. If he were in his position, he probably would act the same way.

In a strange way Sam was glad that they didn’t the subject, or else he would probably be teased by  Dean about falling for your older brother, or worse, would have to listen to a lecture from him about incest. That would defiantly be something he couldn’t deal with, not yet anyway. His heart was still too vulnerable.
Having spent over 3 hours in the library, they decided to take a break and drove to a small, old-fashioned diner at the beginning of town.

Silently they entered, sat down in a booth across from one another and began to study the menu.
Not only were they not speaking to each other, but Dean was also trying to avoid looking at Sam. Sitting face to face now was perhaps not the best idea. Sam was glad for the opportunity, but every time he tried to look Dean into the eyes, he quickly looked in a different direction.

When the waitress came, Sam ordered an Ice Tea and a Caesar’s salad. Dean took his time ordering, glancing at the young waitress every now and then, having put on his knock-out smile. The waitress, a small blond, seemed very flattered and began to flirt with Dean immediately. After 10 minutes of checking each other out, he had finally ordered. With a smile she turned away from their table and walked in direction of the kitchen, Dean’s eyes still on her.

Sam didn’t know what to think or how to react. It hurt him to see his brother flirting with someone else so soon after they’d …oh God! He tried not to think about it, but the memories of that wonderful night came rushing back into his mind, like waves breaking upon the shore.

He saw Dean in front of him panting, his eyes filled with lust and want…saw him pulling close, claiming his mouth with his lips. He saw them exploring each others bodies, kissing and licking, biting and teasing. And then finally he remembered how Dean had asked for what he had so long desired, ever since he had seen him make out with that girl on the camping site, so many years ago. It had been as if the gates to heaven had been opened up, and then he had felt his brother inside of him. He had felt whole, as if the missing part of his heart had been replaced.

Sam closed his eyes while reliving those sweet moments. When he opened them again, the confused face of his brother greeted him. Did he know what he was thinking about? What sinful images he held in his mind at this very moment? Dean’s beautiful emerald eyes seemed to open a door that had been closed for too long. They were like a window into his soul, now revealing his inner thoughts and emotions. Sam could see that his brother was worried, but there was also more, much more. He could see sadness in his eyes and love.

For a few seconds they just looked at each other, remaining completely silent. It was the closest moment they had had since their lovemaking. Time seemed to stand still.
Sam’s own facial expression revealed all his emotions. He was hurting badly. He wanted so much, but didn’t know where to start. And Dean just seemed blown away by all of this. Sam could tell that Dean wanted nothing more than to comfort him, but something was holding him back. He was afraid, afraid of doing something wrong.

Sinking into each other’s eyes, the outside world seemed to fade away. Nothing else mattered.
Then all of a sudden they were interrupted by the waitress returning with their orders.
She smiled at Dean, who immediately turned his head in her direction. Putting on his dashing smile once again, his eyes completely changed. The door to his brother’s soul was shut again, showing nothing of the emotions hidden within him.

Sighing Sam began to eat. Dean thanked the waitress and also began to eat, still trying to avoid looking at his brother. Silently they both continued to eat, wondering what had just been between them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After reaching a small motel just outside of town, Dean voluntarily jumped out of the car to get a room. They hadn’t checked the vacancy yet, but since this motel was the closest one to the forest where almost all victims had been found, this was really their first choice. Obviously the surrounding woods were the place where the werewolf would be at the full moon.

Sam looked around the place already scanning the area for any signs.
Dean seemed to take ages to get a room, and when he finally returned to the car, he seemed irritated.

He jumped back in and pointed to the end of the long stretched building.

“No. 15, just at the end there.”

He stepped full force on the accelerator, coming to a screeching hold only a few meters further, right in front of their room.

“Best get settled quickly and then find the beast and kill it.”

Dean jumped out of the car and went to the trunk to get their stuff.

“Dean? You do remember that full moon is tomorrow night, not tonight?”

Hearing Sam, Dean still didn’t respond but headed straight for their room.

Sam slowly emerged from the car, gathering his own things.

Dean was completely shut up again, the perfect hunter without any emotions. Whatever had happened before in the diner seemed ages ago.

After following Dean inside, Sam got the shock of his life.

In the middle of the room there stood a king-size bed. One bed. One bed only!

Sam looked around the small room all confused.
Then he turned to his brother who already had thrown his bag down and was heading for the bathroom.

“Dude, this is a double bedroom! There’s only one bed!”

Sam was quite bewildered. For a moment he let his hope shine through, only a very small glimpse of hope. But it was impossible. Dean couldn’t mean, or could he?

Dean turned around to face Sam.

“This is the only room that was still available. And we need to stay close to the woods.”

He played it completely cool, as if sharing a bed was the most normal thing in the world. Of course it wasn’t that strange for brothers and they’d bunked together many times, even as adults – nights Sammy’s heart pounded so heavily he could hardly sleep – but now it seemed impossible.
They couldn’t share one bed after all that had happened. How could Dean do this to him?

“You’re serious? We’re sleeping here tonight, together in one bed?”

“Why not?”

Dean didn’t seem to know what his brother was getting at.

“If it bugs you that much, I can sleep on the floor. Didn’t know you’d make such a fuss. It’s not like we’ve never slept together before.”

Sam couldn’t believe what Dean had just said. How could he be like this?

“You are serious! You really mean that this doesn’t freak you out? That it won’t remind you of what happened between us. You honestly think it won’t remind you of…”

“Sam!” Dean tried to get his brother to shut up. But Sam had to get it out.

“….of my feelings for you? Remember I’m not the one who was under a spell, I’m truly in love….”
“SAM!” Dean shouted, instantly silencing his little brother.

Then he began shaking his head.

“Sam stop! Don’t do this! Not now, we have a job to work on.”

Sam was angry, but also all his other emotions were beginning to swell up inside of him, ready to just break free.

“Oh and when would you like to talk about it then? We’re always on a job!”

Sam knew how stubborn his brother could be and how he could hide his emotions, but this was just too much.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean watched as the first tears began to run down Sammy’s face. It was the one thing he couldn’t stand.

“Oh God Sammy, please don’t do this. I’m begging you.”

How could he explain it to Sam? How could he bring himself to tell him the truth about the spell, about his own feelings?

He just wanted to forget it all, burry his feelings and return to their normal lives. He had really tried to hide his emotions, act his cool self, but somehow it wasn’t working.

How could they hunt if all these emotions hung between them? Sam had to understand that it was better if they didn’t talk about it all. Or else Dean wasn’t sure he could keep it together. He might too just break down.

But he couldn’t let Sammy see him like that…see him so weak.

Sam let himself fall on the edge of the bed, still looking up at Dean.

“We have to talk about this Dean! Look I know you’re mad at me for letting things go too far and I know that the fact that I have feelings for you probably disgusts you, but we have to talk! We have to find a way to put this behind us or it will tear me apart.”

Sam was right, it would tear him apart, but not just him alone.

How wrong he was! How could Dean be mad, how could he be disgusted when all he felt was love and longing? He wanted so much to just reach out to Sam and comfort him, tell him that his emotions weren’t wrong, but that he felt the same way. But how could he? He only was beginning to admit these feelings to himself, very slowly. Dealing with Sam’s emotional break down was just too much, at the moment.

“Sammy, I know. I get it, but I can’t. Not yet. Give it some time, please?”

He reached out to Sam, barely touching his cheek with his hand. He needed some form of connection, of physical contact, although he knew he shouldn’t.

Sam slowly seemed to calm down and stopped crying.

“I’m not mad, Sammy. I just need more time. There are so many things I need to tell you, but I’m not sure I can yet. Give me some time to think, okay?”

Sam looked at him totally confused. He so wanted to ask Dean what he meant, but he feared it would only drive his brother away again. Dean was almost ready to open up to him, so why not let him decide when to do it?

He nodded.

“I’m sorry about the room, really. I’ll sleep on the floor.”

Dean took the comforter of the bed and was about to grip a pillow and a blanket, when Sam reached out to him.

“You don’t have to sleep on the floor. It’s a king-size bed after all, so there’s a lot of space, enough for both of us.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah. I don’t really want to be alone right now.”

Dean tried to smile, as he slipped between the sheets.

After Sam crawled into bed next to him, Dean backed off a few inches, desperately trying to put some space between them. He couldn’t risk touching Sam in any way. If he did, he wasn’t sure he could stop himself.

“We should try to sleep, big day tomorrow.”

When Dean turned of the light, he could feel Sammy turning around to face him.

“Thanks Dean.”

“For what?”

“For not being mad at me. I just couldn’t control my feelings. I’m really sorry for what happened.”

“I know Sammy. I know, and I’m really not mad at you.” I’m in love with you…those words were so close to coming out, but Dean bit his tongue.

Minutes later Sam was already in deep sleep, while Dean was lying on his back eyes wide open thinking of how to get through this all.

Previous/ Next