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02 November 2007 @ 03:37 pm
Fiction: Reunited  
Here's another short piece of fanfiction. It's set during the famous pilot of SPN, which got all the wincest stuff started ;-)

Title: Reunited
Author: wiccaqueen 
Pairing: Sam/ Dean
Rating: R
Summary: Sam and Dean are reunited after 2 years of seperation
Disclaimer: Sam and Dean do not belong to me, but to their respected owners at CW!

Reunited

There was a voice whispering to him, somewhere in the dark. He listened, but couldn't make out the words. All he knew, was that they were soothing. He was safe and he was loved, that much he could sense from the voice. Then he saw a face appearing in front of him. Bright blue eyes smiling. And all of a sudden he knew who she was: Mary Winchester, his dead mother.

He often dreamt of her, although he could barely remember what she had looked like. If it weren't for the photos his Dad had shown him while he was growing up, he doubted he'd even know what she had looked like. Why he was dreaming of her now, he couldn't fathom.

The next thing he saw, was her pain filled face, which was burning to cinder on the ceiling over his crib. No, no, no...don't go there! But he couldn't influence his dream. She was still saying something, or rather screaming, but Sam couldn't understand her. He hated himself for that. He wanted to know what her last words were. God, why couldn't he help her?

The next thing he remembered, was a couple of strong arms carrying him out of the inferno. And then he was passed to a smaller pair of arms, not nearly as strong, but he knew they would never let him fall, or let any other harm come to him. He looked up and saw his brother's frightened face. But at the same moment he was trying to comfort his baby brother.

Since that day, Dean had always been there to protect Sam and to look out for him. One could almost say, that he was still carrying him in his protective arms. Nothing evil could happen to him as long as Dean was there. But then one day, Sam had walked out on him. Just like that, he had decided to give a normal life a shot, and left everything that had meant something to him behind. Now caught in that painful moment of seperation, Sam saw Dean's adult face infront of him. He didn't say anything, but in his eyes, Sam could see a million unspocken words. Damn him! Why couldn't he just open his mouth and say what he wanted? A simple „Don't go, Sammy!“ would have been enough. But nooo. Dean Winchester won't let his emotional guard down for nothing! 

He could sense the tension hanging in the air. And somewhere behind those dark brown eyes, he saw some unshed tears almost coming to life.

Sam had lost the two most important people in his life, and each time, he hadn't been able to hear their last words. The relationships had just brocken of, without ever really saying goodbye. Another part of his life torn away ... another empty place in his heart.

 

Sam woke, soaked in sweat. His heart was pounding in a unsteady rhythmn. He wiped the sleep from his eyes and tried to remember the dream he had had. It was already starting to slip away and fade into the mists.

He knew he had dreamt of his mum, which was quite unusual. And then he had seen Dean, on the brink of their parting. That wasn't so unusual. In the beginning of his college life, he had dreamt of his brother nearly every other night. The pain he felt after waking up on those  morning, had always been intense. Once or twice he had picked up the phone afterwards and dialed his brother's cell. But when Dean picked up, Sam had gotten cold feet and hung up on him, like a love sick school girl. Sure it was stupid, but what should he do? Say „Hi Dean, I just woke from a terrible dream and now I want to share my feelings of guilt and loss with you?“ Yeah, that would work great! Especially since Dean loved chick-flick moments. No, anything like that was out of the question. 

Turning to the nighttable on the right side of the bed, Sam tried to read what it was. 3.30 am.

Much to early to get up, especially when you've spend the better half of last night at a halloween party and had a few drinks, or maybe just a few too many. Coming to think of it, the way the night had ended hadn't been to bad either. He and Jess had made it home somewhere around 1.20 am. But instead of falling to sleep immediatly, they still managed to have a short make out session, followed by a quickie. After that, Sam had fallen into wonderful blissful sleep, until the nightmare had woken  him.

Nightmare? It that really what it was? Well maybe not a nightmare, but certainly not a very pleasant dream. There had been a time when Sam had dreamt quite differently of his brother. Now those had been pleasant dreams. Later on, when his dreams had actually come true, his dreams  

would just mimick real life. Good times. How long has it been since then? Now Sam didn't dare to even think of those dreams or worse, of those memories. Looking at them from a distance, he could finally judge how wrong they had been, and how screwed up his family really was. None of it had been normal, not the way their mum had died, nor the way they had been brought up by their dad, or the special relationship he and his brother had shared. No wonder Sam had always craved normality. And right now, he was enjoying it! He had a beautiful girlfriend, relieable friends and maybe even a chance to go to a reknowned law school. Everything had fallen into place quite nicely, and everything seemed perfect, if it weren't  for those dreams he had every now and then.

Streching himself, Sam decided to get up and take a leak before trying to sleep again. Beer always made him go to the toilet more often. He turned, placed a gently kiss on his girlfriend's forehead, and then swung hs tired legs out of bed. He didn't want to wake Jess, so he tried to keep as quite as he could. Tiptoeing his way to the bathroom, he tried to figure out just how much he had drunk. Three or four beers? And there definatly had been a couple of tequilas.

Still a bit drowsy, he made his way along the hallway, when all of a sudden he heard a sound. He stopped and turned his head to find out where he had come from. Moving forward slowly he heard it again. It almost sounded like footsteps.

Someone was in the house! Alarmed Sam returned to the bedroom, still trying to keep quite and fetched his old baseball bat, he had stored away in a corner by his bed. When he returned to the hallway, he sound had ceased entirely. But years of training had taught Sam to be cautious. Just because you couldn't see or hear something, didn't mean it wasn't there.

Moving along swiftly, but hardly making a noise, he reached the living room. He thought about turning on the light, but then decided against it. If it really was a thief he would want to catch him unawares. And if it really was something different, maybe even something supernatural, he certainly would want to have the element of surprise on his side.

Entering the room, Sam tried to look around if he could make out any shapes. Although he couldn't see anything, he definatly felt a presence in the room. Someone, or something was in here! Fisting his bat, he slowly moved forward, ready to strike at any moment. Now, as he seemed to be getting closer, he could hear the footsteps again and even hear someone breathe. So no spirit. Relieved, Sam gave it a shot and brought his bat down. He felt it slam into something, which actually felt more like a piece of furniture than a body. Damn he had missed! But he could have sworn.....

The next thing he knew was that he nearly lost his balance, as something hit him on the back of his head. Quickly he turned around and began defending himself. If this guy, whoever he was, wanted a fight, then so be it! Although it had been a while since he had been in a regular training, he still knew his moves. There were a couple of punches he could hold back and even one he managed to throw at his aponent. The guy was strong, and good at hand-to-hand combat. Hell, he even seemed to be better than he himself was. They kept on fighting for a couple of minutes, moving around the room almost like a dancing couple.

And then something distracted Sam. Later he would remember that it was the smell he caught in his nose at that moment: Raw, manly and something very, very familiar. It was only a split second, but it was enough for the other man to throw Sam down and pin him to the floor. The next thing he knew, he was staring into those dark brown eyes of his beloved brother.

„Whoa....Easy tiger!“

„Dean?“ he asked somewhat out of breath and full of amazement.

Was it really him? For a couple of moments he just looked at him bedazzled, almost as if he was still dreaming. Was Dean really here? After all this time! And what did he want? And why did he show up like this, in the middle of the night? Sam's head was starting to spin with unanswered questions. But for now, he just seemed to be enough to look at each other. Lying on the floor, he cold fell the heat radiating from both their bodies. Dean had his strong legs pressed against Sam's thighs, their bellys touching, and even their chests resting loosly against each other. Sam could feel his brother's warm breath on his bare neck. The smell which had distracted him earlier, was stronger now, as the source of it was closer. He inhaled deep, savouring that odour he had missed so much. It was only then, that he truely believed that Dean was real, and not just a figure of his imagination.

 

„You scared the crap out of me!“, he said in a slighty shaky voice. Damn, he didn't want Dean to sense how nervous he was, but couldn't help it. His whole body was already starting to react to the closeness of his brother, as it had done so many times, so many years before. It was natural to them, almost like an instinct, Sam couldn't surpress.

„That's cause you're outta practise...“ Dean answered, flashing his typical cocky grin at him. God, it still made him shake. How could Dean do that, just with one look? But Sam wasn't about to give up yet. He may be emotionally totally wrecked, but he still had some strength left in his body. Hooking his legs into Dean's, he managed to throw him off and change their positions in an instant. Now he was the one on top, loathing over his brother's georgous body, which he could feel panting below.

„...or not...“ Dean breathed, hardly louder than a whisper.

He looked up into the beautiful green eyes of his baby brother and nearly forgot what he was about to say. Those eyes had always been one of his weeknesses. The others were Sam's pink lips, his boyish smile, his wild hair and almost everything else that was part of him. When it came to his brother, Dean was just helpless.

Right before Sam had switched their positions, Dean had leaned down, inhaling that sweet scent, which smelled like fresh fruit and spring flowers. How he wanted to touch  Sam's lush lips with his tongue; steal a small kiss, just to remember what he tasted like. But he hadn't gotten the chance to do that. Instead, now he was the one in a vunerable position.

He could sense, that the situation was just as intense for Sammy, as it was for him. Not that he had planned any of this. He truely just wanted to talk to him, not relieve those sins, which had finally driven his brother away. Even now, as he felt his warm body press upon him, sense his fast pulse and his hard erection, he knew he was the one to blame for Sam's leaving. Although he seemed to be flushed with lust now, Dean understood, that Sam didn't really feel the same way as he did. Sure there had always been an enourmous sexual power between them, but Sam's emotions weren't as deep as Dean's. In the years they'd been seperated, Dean had learnt what the word 'suffering' really meant. Every night he had tried to rip out his heart, which was full of Sammy, but every morning when he awoke, it was full of him again. He had learnt to live with it, he had to. So he went out hunting and killed more fircely than ever before, just to let some steam off.

He'd feared that everything would come to life again when he saw Sam...and that's just what seemed to happen at this moment.

All of a sudden it was too much for Dean. He felt as if he couldn't breath. He wanted Sam, wanted him more than anything in the world, but if he couldn't have him, than he certainly didn't want to be remembered of what he was missing.

„Get of me!“

Surprised by Dean's sudden change of mood, Sam lifted his body from his brother's and stood up, giving him a hand to get up aswell. Had he done something wrong? Taking over control like that, perhaps hadn't been the best idea. Slightly frustrated, he looked his brother in the eyes, but couldn't tell what he was thinking, or feeling right now.

But what had he been thinking? Here he was, seeing his brother again for the first time in four years and he was feeling sexualy aroused. Hell, he even tried rubbing his hard-on into Dean's private parts a few seconds ago. Yep, definatly screwed up!

Thinking of something to say, anything that would save this moment from getting anymore awkward, he finally asked the questions he dreaded most, but he had to know:

„Dean what the hell are you doing here?“

„I was looking for a beer,“ he replied, instantly gripping his brother's shoulders to give him something to hold on to. He hadn't wanted to drive Sam away like that before. Well maybe he had, but the feeling of loss had come over him a second later, after their bodies no longer connected. He needed some form of physcial contact. Knowing it was wrong, and even fearing that Sam didn't want it, he still couldn't help himself. He had to touch his brother again, to feel the softness of his skin through his thin t-shirt. It had been so long, too long...

 

This situation had gotten way to tensed, so he had tried to lighten things up a bit with his playful remark. However, he could tell that Sammy was in no mood to play any games. He looked like he was pissed. Damn! Had he pushed him too far? Maybe he shouldn't have straddled him like that before. Maybe he hated himself for having reacted the way he did. How could he have been so sloppy, and not seen that Sam wanted to be away from him, far, far away...Hell, he'd even run off to California just to get rid of him.

„What the hell are you doing here?“ Sam repeated, nearly spitting out every word.

He was nervous, so nervous as if he was on a job interview. What would Dean say? And why that foolish remark? Was he afraid of saying something that would hurt him? He already knew that Dean didn't want him in his life. In over four years there hadn't even been a single phone call. It was obvious. Had he even thought about him? Who was he kidding....Here he was, dreaming of his brother, becoming instantly aroused when seeing him, and Dean? He wanted him to get of! He was ignoring his questions. No, he was quite certain, that Dean hadn't come on a social visit, much less because he missed him. So much for brotherly love.

„Okay, alright...we gotta talk.“

„Uh...the phone?“

Dean's heart stung. His brother didn't want him here, and no matter what he might say next, nothing would change that. Although he hated chick-flick moments, he was close to opening his heart and telling Sammy the real reason for his coming. But how would it sound, if he said „I came here to see you...because I can't live without you“...yeah that would work great! Sam would probably laugh   his ass off. Not a  good idea. Instead he simply said:

„If I'd called would you've picked up?“

He looked up into his brother's face, dying to see some sort of emotion there. Half expecting to see nothing, he was all the more surprised when he saw a flash of pain strike Sam's face. Had he really struck a nerve? Would Sam have picked up? Did he still care about him, just a little bit?

Sam opened his mouth, and Dean nearly held his breath, dying to hear what Sam would say. Could it be that he had presumed his brother's feelings wrongly? Again he looked into those deep green eyes, now so full of tenderness and something that almost looked like love. And then he inhaled, ready to give him the long craved answer...

„Sam?“ Both men turned in surprise.

Sam had totally forgotten about his girlfriend Jess and forgotten what he wanted to say. A few short moments alone with his brother, and all the rest of the world just seemed to vanish. It had always been like that. He and Dean had always had their private moments, and not just when they stole away from Dad’s presence long enough to exchange a few sloppy kisses. They would sometimes just have to look at each other to sink into their own world.

„Jess, he...Dean this is my girlfriend Jessica.“

Dean didn’t know what to say. And what had he been thinking anyway? Of course Sam would have a girlfriend, that’s what being normal is all about. He probably had wanted to tell him just before she turned on the light and interfered. And here he was, getting his hopes up, that Sam might actually still care for him.

His heart still stung, as if someone had driven hot, steaming metal through it.

„Wait, your brother Dean?“

Both men looked at one another at the same time, unable to reply anything. They seemed to be searching for the right words.

„I love the smurfs...you know I gotta tell ye, you are completly outta my brother's league.“

It was Dean who finally got his mouth open to let out a typical Dean like remark. Sam almost cracked up. Dean had to be all womanizer to be able to deal with the situation. A couple of minutes ago he still had a hard-on because of him. And now? It was all a cover up, at least that’s what Sam hoped it was.

„Just let me put something on.“

„No no, I wouldn't dream of it, seriously.“

Dean replied referring to her tight t-shirt again. He was at a total loss for words, and didn’t even dare to look Sammy into the eyes. So he tried to concentrate on Jess. True, she was pretty, but nothing to Sam. But he couldn’t let Sam sense that, so he tried to keep his guard up.

„Anyway I gotta borrow your boyfriend here, talk some private family business...but nice meeting you.“

The inevitable had to be said. Sam gazed at Dean trying to signal him mot to go in that direction. He didn’t trust himself to be alone with Dean for any longer period of time. Best to put Jess between them.

„No..no what ever you want to say, you can say it infront of her.“

Dean didn’t expect that. Another sting to his heart. Did Sam really want Jess to hear what he was about to say? Did she mean that much to him, that he wanted to include her into that part of his life, which he normally kept hidden from everyone else who wasn’t a Winchester?

„Okay. Dad hasn't been home in a few days.“

Play it his way. Fine! I can do that.

 

„So he's working over time on a shift. He'll stumble in sooner or later.“

No way Sammy, you are not doing this to me!

„Dad's on a haunting trip, and he hasn't been home in a few days.“

That was the one thing that made Sam twitch. Aw, struck a nerve! Sam had to think of something. Yeah Jess was important to him, but not that important. If Dean really had something to say to him in private he would let him and simply hope there wouldn’t be anything awkward between them like before.

„Jess excuse us....We have to go outside.“

Dean’s whole expression changed. For a moment he had feared Sam would refuse his wish. But he hadn’t. Whatever he felt for him now, he still was his brother and a Winchester. And whatever would come, they would stick together.

 

Later, after Dean had filled Sam in on the particulars and pleaded with him, it was time to confess his feelings.

„I can't do this alone.“

The words nearly got stuck in his dry throat. It wasn’t his style to beg, but goddammit he wanted Sam to go along with him. He needed him!

„Yes you can.“

It was a lost plea, already dying. He knew he couldn’t refuse Dean, not really. All he had to do was look into those deep emerald eyes and listen to the words coming from those gorgeous lips, and he couldn’t resist. After all, he still loved his brother very much and nothing would ever change that.

„Well, I don't want to.“

It was the last confession Dean made, being most true to his heart. Hardly ever did he open up and show his feelings, but if it was to persuade Sammy, then nothing could stop him from doing just that. After all, he loved his brother beyong anything and nothing would ever change that.

 

The End

 
 
Current Mood: enthralledenthralled
Current Music: Lady with the red dress
 
 
 
Trini: Awesometrinipedia on October 28th, 2008 01:40 pm (UTC)
this was the best rewriting of the pilot I've ever read. but then again, YOU wrote it, so, DUH.
wiccaqueen: Orange Grinwiccaqueen on October 28th, 2008 02:02 pm (UTC)
Oh jeez, thanks! *blushing*